Facade …

The one this June has taught me is that time is ticking away…and time changes everything. The difference of how we feel to three weeks ago is only possible because of time and what time does to feelings, emotions and mentality. My emotions and mentality is completely different to a week ago and massively different to five months ago. As time is slipping away… so is everything else we are just not as aware of it…. until it’s gone. Until we realise it’s gone, it’s vanished it’s changed. Time can be a enemy or a friend depending on how you value it. Time can cost you everything you have wanted, worked for or believed in.

Yet, every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around. – if you still have seconds left in that minute. Or you even have a minute. I have not blogged or photographed or anything. Because my time has been and gone. I will be deactivating all of my social media. It no longer serves me or my life. I have nothing left to say…. I need not want to inspire or comfort, myself or others. I have reached a point in my spiritual being where I will now cocoon myself within myself. Time I have found to be a enemy and a friend. And now I will treat it accordingly that I have learnt the lessons.

What lessons have you learnt ? As if you have not had any lessons yet that have shook you to your core… made you change your life you perspective your behaviour your thinking and acting. Then you are not growing, your soul is in turmoil. Trapped. Time, human time and Devine time, are not the same thing. And oh lord the lessons you learn and understand when you understand time. Karma comes with time. Waste your own time to your peril, waste someone else’s, and your karmic debt it’s tripled in a instance for this lifetime and the next.

What no longer serves you let go. And all that you deserve has a path and space to enter then….. the month of June has been brutal, and wonderful, I love the rejection I have endured it has brought me growth and space. June was my month of rejection and I kicked ass even when I was sobbing my heart out. But now I reject social media, it no longer serves me. So for anyone who stumbles on this blog….

Time my dear friend is the most valuable thing you will ever have, – but I am wasting my breath as you will only understand that when it’s taken from you, and it takes what you thought was yours.

From a girl who learnt too much too young and too soon. X

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I am out ….

Yesterday I celebrated summer solstice…. and reflected on all my recent choices and my recent mishaps and change. Normally after change I get on a plane and find myself again. But I haven’t got the enthusiasm to do that. The friends I have around me are all gifted in some way shape or form. I think I will go to Switzerland next month. I need too, the calling has been so strong to go there for two years now. And I think I am ready for whatever this journey has in store for me. Also decided that I am getting a van and traveling Europe …. I can’t say in this place anymore it’s suffocating me ….

Wednesdays…

Not all Wednesdays are boring, some break your heart and have you fall to your knees. Not all Wednesdays drag, some you count out pills, enough to sleep through the hours……

some Wednesdays are brutal, and it’s only you holding your body as it sobs. Your soul sat to the side, hurting enough it wants to die. The sun on a canvas of blue sky, and all you can do it cry…. June most certainly is the month of rejection, but the power was taken from my hand on this one. I just sit at its mercy…. waiting now to gain the strength to heal…

The fool …

The fool thinks they have time… the fool thinks they know how life will unfold. Destiny and fate is what the fool assumes will play within their life …… what they don’t understand is ‘free will’ that of themselves and others.

No matter what life has predicted for you, you have the free will to change it. June is the month of rejection – because my free will, will make it so.

Life

The things we see in movies and read it books, the scenes that show love and words of poets …. make a hopeless romantic of us all. In those scenes in those words, there are hero’s and people who have as much courage as they do love. That’s the different … in reality people have love but no courage or bravery. In movies, books and poems they are hero’s in love. In reality people are cowards who are too scared to accept their true love and destiny.

A name

The things I love are the things that I marked that I left such a impression on that I claimed as mine. The beautiful blank page which I turned into poetry… the picture in which spoke…. there’s so many things. But the things I love the most are the way I have affected people with influence. From encouraging a career to renaming a guy because I didn’t like his first name, as it didn’t have two syllables. Just one syllable. I renamed him using his surname, and he only needs one name because the name I named him is so cool. And I know that whenever another girl calls him Connor, he will always associate it with me… even when it comes from another girls lips. When it is spoke in a different voice or murmured in moans of sex.:. She will be calling the man who goes by the name I gave him, because it still reminds him of me. By claiming someone and renaming them they always belong. And just hearing his voice and recently … and him finding time to speak with me considering how busy he’s been just shows how much we still mean to one another … and I love how he says that the way I say his name is something he has missed so much …