Life

The things we see in movies and read it books, the scenes that show love and words of poets …. make a hopeless romantic of us all. In those scenes in those words, there are hero’s and people who have as much courage as they do love. That’s the different … in reality people have love but no courage or bravery. In movies, books and poems they are hero’s in love. In reality people are cowards who are too scared to accept their true love and destiny.

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A name

The things I love are the things that I marked that I left such a impression on that I claimed as mine. The beautiful blank page which I turned into poetry… the picture in which spoke…. there’s so many things. But the things I love the most are the way I have affected people with influence. From encouraging a career to renaming a guy because I didn’t like his first name, as it didn’t have two syllables. Just one syllable. I renamed him using his surname, and he only needs one name because the name I named him is so cool. And I know that whenever another girl calls him Connor, he will always associate it with me… even when it comes from another girls lips. When it is spoke in a different voice or murmured in moans of sex.:. She will be calling the man who goes by the name I gave him, because it still reminds him of me. By claiming someone and renaming them they always belong. And just hearing his voice and recently … and him finding time to speak with me considering how busy he’s been just shows how much we still mean to one another … and I love how he says that the way I say his name is something he has missed so much …

The passion and fault

The passion I have in my work is not to let people who are hurting or suffering think they are alone. My passion is to give a reality to a situation a voice to those silenced or denied. That’s my art. My fault? Is that I won’t stop until I get what I want and what they deserve.

I am a mother but I am a lioness when it comes to her child. I would tear a throat out of a person who dared to harm my reason for breathing . I would give my life to ensure my daughter could live the rest of hers with happiness and health. I would expect no less from any parent. So this is a plight, there’s a school in Cardiff that is not protecting the children and disabling parents powers to protect their babies.

This school is llanishen high school. A teacher was recently pictured in bed with two of his pupils. And 16 years ago this week a 13yr old girl hung herself in her bedroom because of bullying. Bullying in this school has caused the number of children in one year group to raise to 32 reports in one week. The teachers have not done enough children are suffering mental and physical abuse at this school. Video evidence of children being grabbed and marked by teachers and teachers lying to protect other teachers is a common occurrence.

This is a school in Cardiff that knows the parents can’t send their children to another school. Why? Because all other schools are full and cannot take on additional pupils.

The staff need a reform and the school needs to enforce stronger policies and punishments for bullying, even to themselves.

I beg you children that are our next generation, our future doctors and nurses and politicians. These children we can’t fail so please sign the petition and help save a child’s mental health, self confidence and future. https://www.change.org/p/lucz-fowler-llanishen-high-school-reform

Lacks

What she doesn’t realise what she lacks is the knowledge and intelligence to know she is temporary….. as he is coming back home. His voice and feelings haven’t changed and he still breathes life wishing for me.

Physical form …

The one thing I have become increasing aware of is how my soul affects my physical body. When I was so anxious and panicky and nervous I would bite the skin around my nails so much they bled. They were so painful and I was so ashamed of them but I couldn’t stop one time someone said to me ‘don’t touch me with your fingers like that’ this line ripped me apart because of how self conscious I was anyway and how vulnerable I was. I would bring my sleeves over my hands and hide them so much.

When I was anxious I also suffered from extreme weight loss and fluid in my knee. It is amazing that when the soul is in pain or needing comfort or peace or healing how it an negatively affect your actual physical health. They say guilt manifests into physical aliments and I know this is to be true.

I spoke with a beautiful and saintly friend as she is suffering and have from the same things. When your soul is under attack from guilt, remorse, longing, or feeling depressed from the way it cannot be free this affects our emotional and mental wellbeing, which in turn then manifests the chemical and biological imbalances in our bodies. I found this hard to become a actual thing until I researched it in a scientific manner myself. And of course took guidance from someone so spiritually evolved. Thankfully as she is like w angel on earth she helped me deeply understand that you can care as much for the physical body, brush your teeth three times a day, use the best moisture’s on your face, eat the healthiest you can. But it still doesn’t mean you won’t have bad breath and your teeth will be vulnerable that your skin will look dull and break out in spots and that your body will become its weakest. The immune system will weaken the fatigue and insomnia will crept in and the aches and pains in joints will intensify. But if you can’t take care of your soul then it can’t stand being trapped with your body so it will essentially give up on it. And let it break down, because your spirit is broken.

Finally I am in such a healthy place mentally and emotionally and physically. I have never been one to be ill or sickly, but when I am I know my soul needs some nourishment.

It’s like having a pet …. if your pet is not happy or don’t like you … it will make you feel bad about yourself. If you neglect the dog and it has fleas or worms those fleas and worms will bite you and you will end up being a host to the bacteria that the dog has because you have neglected it.

People thing being spiritual is all burning sage and chanting, opening up your chakras and healing them.

Bitch no, it’s about healing karmic relationships it’s about knowing when to give a fuck and when not too and to be able to balance your energies. When to listen to your soul when it needs a break, when it needs something and not letting your stupid human ego get in the way. Human ego is the cancer of the soul. Ego means you are stubborn, you refuse to do something because of pride or beliefs or because it benefits everyone else not you. Ego is the way you think you deserve a good life or a good job or car or boyfriend or girlfriend. The ego is the thing you are taught to act upon based on your emotions and mentality. That if someone says something you take it personally, that you value people’s opinions or their attention. Fuck that!

That’s ego.

The ego is so easily damaged and fragile as it can so easily be broken. The soul?? The soul is never broken, it is never stubborn, it’s is never filled with pride or dignity. It will do things even that it does not want to do, because from doingthem things it understands that is where it will grow the most, learn the most and gain new skills. The soul is eternal. So next time you make a decision see if it’s your soul acting or your ego. If something has pushed your buttons or someone has annoyed you, that you need to rant about their stupidity or how idiotic they are my dear that’s you feeding your ego. That’s you thinking you are better than they are based on your limited knowledge of them and their life. The most ignorant person in a room is a person whom assumes anything.

The soul is never courageous … it is strong but never courageous. Because for all the emotions it could define it to be, it wouldn’t dare ….only the ego would.

A very select amount of people know their soul. Understand it and the way it works or what it needs to work. That it needs love, self love and a deep connecting love. It needs food, not human food but the food of passion for life and excitement as well as the comfort and peace in which it can bathe. It needs knowledge of how to be a soul in a human form. Just like a alien would need to know how to live on this planet and interact. The soul needs to know that the human is protecting it and enabling it to breathe clean air and understand the human life and its lessons it now has to face. The soul will only take care of you for as long as you take care of it. And the most compelling thing is that you can not have a healthy functioning relationship with anyone if you can’t have one with your soul. How are you to understand what anther human being and their soul needs from you, if you can’t understand what your own soul needs, and that soul has been with you everyday through every achievement and failure of your life? And you can’t speak with it? Truthfully and accept it and provide for it fully.

The art of life is life itself. You can turn your soul into the strongest pair of wings. Or you can let them decay to spiney feathers with mould. The truth is you get out of your soul what you put in.

I am at a stage where I can call on my soul for company and I can actually here it speak. I kid you not. I can ask my soul to tune into other people’s souls. I have done a few soul journeys where my human form did not need to be present. I couldn’t of done it without the help and guidance of a past life regression therapist and a few other spiritual people, who I now know are part of my soul group.

The thing with humans is w like to control and we like things to go our way. That makes us feel good. And we will manipulate other people and situations to make us feel good. That is the humans ego. The thing that spiritual human understands is that they have ‘free will’ a ex of mine once said that a psychic told him he would have more relationships etc this was because he was not ready to step up to the soul journey and solve a karmic relationship. The thing that proved he was so spiritually retarded was the fact that he did not acknowledge his free will. Ok every and any situation we have free will to make our own choices despite what situations may make us think. What people may want us to do or say or be. His free will would have had him at peace by now, if he had sort it. It would have soothed the hole that he cannot and will never fill.

Free will is the most cherished thing in the world if you know its value and worth. We tend to bend and discard our free will in the way we give up control. People and the government are a prime example. So are parent and child relationships. The authority in the relationships make you think you have no power ….. that you have no other choices – this then makes you think you have no free will.

Boyfriend and girlfriend relationships are the worst for lack of free will or for it to be over exhumed. Some people like control so much they will take away and isolate people thinking the more control they have the more attention they have the more safe they are. Then there are people who is their free will to lie and cheat on their partners and manipulate them. The rules for free will of yours is so simple should you actually be spiritually aware enough to know them.

I can sit and debate and talk for hours with some beautiful minds. I also have a great soul group. And for that my life is enriched in ways most humans will never know. I have never liked attention or sort it for anything. I don’t want attention from the opposite sex or to be liked or admired. I have talents that are endless and I am so smart I can achieve anything I want because I believe in myself. This is not ego this is knowing that being someone who knows a lot and can pick up skill sets extremely quickly I can learn anything I want too quickly. I don’t and have never fallen in love with someone for their looks it’s always been their soul, the way they are. My last boyfriend was so handsome I swooned so much over him because his beauty matched him on the outside as it did on the inside. I was truly blessed to have found him when I did he was a true saviour for me in a soulful way and human way. And I am sure in the next life I will honour the karmic debt.

They say every relationship you have had with someone is someone from your past life…. and what we have done wrong to them will fall back on us in the same like or the next, and they will present themselves in a way that you wouldn’t always think appropriate. In this life my soul is excited as knows the next life will no be fraught with as many complications as this one as I have honoured my souls requests and the family karma, alongside a lot of relationship karma. I know a few things still need to be resolved in this life but I also know that that’s not down to me to resolve, as people have free will and I won’t bend theirs to sort my karmic woes out. Some people need to attend their own funeral to see their errors