It Happened…….. when I wasn’t looking

So this is my photography blog, its been in the creation process for about a year, and I haven’t really done anything with it. Now however I feel with my university work now being less of a luring shadow over my life I can finally set aside some ‘me’ time. I decided a while back to create a website, but thanks to this little thing called confidence which seems to skip away from me whenever i decide upon things like this. I waited for confidence to return, it did after I decided to capture it, and gag it, and duck tape it to a chair beside me. Me and confidence are not exactly pleased about the situation, but I’am sure it will come round to my way of thinking, as confidences way of thinking, has got me no where for the last two and a half years. Inspiration however is like my disease, so thank god there was a balance of sorts. No confidence, but vomiting inspiration every passing moment. I wouldn’t consider myself a photographer, i would consider myself a artist. A friend of mine is a photographer and we often debate about the blurred lines between photography and its place in the art realms. I however always win the argument, with this perspective;

 

A photographer can see something ( beautiful or mundane) and in seeing it through their eyes they then capture it, burn it with light, as it is burnt in their mind. They do this to take it into light room, or photoshop and they adjust it so when they reveal it to their audience, the audience sees the image how the photographers eyes interpreted it. This is a beautiful way to share the way in which you see the world. Some people prefer black and white photography other colour…. I believe you have to be able to create both equally to standard. However some photographers prefer one over the other as they see it as being their better work. I think that is wrong, to be a pianist you have to be able to play all types of music on a piano, so why shouldn’t it be the same upon this profession. I also believe if you never challenge yourself either you never learn nothing new. ( bit off course and passionate there…. back to my point)

A artist however is someone whom uses a camera, the elements, props and software to create, not just what they see but what they in-vision. They don’t show you what they see, they show you what could be, and like an artist of writing or painting, the image they deliver ( I hate to use the word ‘photograph’, because it is more than just that to a artist) is that from their imagination, their world. They contribute a bit of their soul, attributes, emotions, feelings, and most of all their time and devotion to bring recognition to something whether ten billion people see it or just one it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that it was created.

 

A lot of ammeter photographers or would-be artists want fame and recognition from the outset of their work. I personally never ever wanted any recognition, especially not when i was starting out and making some of the biggest mistakes ever. I also think people whom want some notice or recognition are the most unimaginative people in the world. If its passionate and true, thats all that matters, not the likes not the anything else. People need to be a lot more humble, especially joining a profession whereby they know nothing about but immediately start to criticise others within it deserve to never be noticed. I never submitted to my fist magazine myself, it was my current partner whom submitted my work to them, it got published straight away. Even though i was extremely happy about it being published i was also scared of the reaction I would gain. My work can be quite dark, quite shocking and a bit of a punch in the throat. So obviously I was extremely weary. The first couple of publications in magazines were thanks to my partner whom nagged, and submitted my work without my knowledge. He believed in me and in my work, so deeply, and even to this day the praise encouragement and support i get, i feel truly blessed to have from him. Though i support and encourage and teach him, as he’s a artist too. He has seen my drawings and admitted they are better than his, and he gets frustrated that i can paint and he cant, so i teach him rules, and proportion measuring and things on photoshop. I think the most important thing to have in a relationship is a interest like we have in art of any form.

 

Me and my partner went up to Oxford two years ago In October and visited the museum up there, we were both equally roaming around in awe. And we both met at the same piece, a sculpture of a person lying down conveyed through hundreds of line cut slides of glass. When I put the washing liquid and fabric softener in the ball to put in my machine, the swirls of colours and amalgamation of these together we both admire. Art is the most under valued degree in the world, it is also the lowest paid form of income. But thats ok, because artists know their contribution to making the world more beautiful, one piece of art at a time is priceless. The fact both me and my partner are artists and both humble, but admired by others and still so unconfident about ourselves and our work….. as artists we are never happy with our work… (the curse of the perfectionist that comes free with artistic talent) demonstrates what type of people we are.

 

My work is majority a outlet for emotions, and to convey feelings and atmospheres. The last two years have been some of the most confusing and frustrating times in my existence. I now however have complete satisfaction and closure from that part of my life. I wonder how much my work will change. My work is like a calendar of memories. I know with every image that i have ever produced what state i was in, my relationship, and my life. A painful reminder, but now also a documentary one. And one i shall never return to. I finally have a partner and my best friend back, which i lost somewhere along the way of the first six months of our relationship, although their were lies and deceit, I am super proud to say, I always told the truth, always. That gives me such peace as a person, that I never lied not once to anyone, including myself.

 

Therefore a new project has been created from this, ‘The attributes of me’ this will be my summer project along with a few others.