Lesser version of me….unhappily, happy.

Why is it we can give someone the power to allow them to make us feel lesser about ourselves. Its a stupid thing to do, but then another stupid thing to do is to think you are worth less based upon their actions and behaviour and value of you. Just because someone has something missing from their life, heart or soul it does not mean that you should feel that way too. These last few months i have learnt alot in my life, both personal and professional. Some people never change, they always give up too easy, expect too much, and give to little.  This has been a common feature with a specific person within my life, that I have now finally decided to accept that, no matter what they will never be happy. As they are not deep down in a happy place themselves. They have the illusion that they are, but sadly after knowing someone so closely, its to most obvious thing i can now see. Some people do not know what they want in life or love. And that is ok. As long as they are not hurting anyone else that they have in their life. But those people who do, as lying to themselves and others, and thats such a sad situation as everyone end up hurt, for what good reason.

I once heard a woman answer a question based on her boyfriends fidelity.  The question was “Are you not afraid that your partner being this famous person will or could cheat on you”

The womans answer was flawless and such a beautiful answer, he it was…

” well, you know i could be afraid, but I trust that if he did do anything of the sort that he would have to live with that. Everytime he looked in the mirror he would have to meet his own eyes, and his own wrongs. That would then answer what type of man he is both to himself and to me. As if he could look himself in the mirror in his own eyes and know he has hurt, lied or betrayed me, I would surely know that he is not a self aware honest person with himself, so how could he ever be with me. To value someone else you must first value yourself and be honest with yourself. But for the moment I think i have a honest man with himself and me, so i value him and know that with this mind frame he would not jeopardise me, or us.”

I read this and thought about how beautifully confident this woman is, how self aware she is, and how in-tune she is with both herself and her boyfriend. And for the first moment ever in my life I realised that when you lie, deceive and hurt someone, no matter how you try to justify it to yourself, it is the time you stand and look at yourself in the mirror and know you can live with what you have done. Who you have hurt and most of all, you can walk away from them with less care and concern than that of a stranger who has injured themselves in a fall. Is when you sum up to everyone including yourself ‘Who you truly are’

Unfortunately some people never learn, and never grow. I have, I am a great person, im a good person, I am not perfect but no one is, but anyone who knows me can list a million good traits compared to any bad. SO the value others place on me, is worth more than the value that someone takes away from me, because they have no true honest value for themselves.

This image is to deplict the creature that self worth can turn you into. I am a female yet i have no female attributes in view, as when you feel degraded you feel like a lesser form of your gender also. I feel like a creature more than a human.

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