Vulnerable bones…

I do notice I do not blog as much as I should. But when I do I always received good feedback, or connect with someone reading. In a good way. So i therefore should do it more frequently. Anyway, heres the update: I have been indoors doing the majority of my shoots as I am playing with lighting a lot more. I always have people say about how I compel a atmosphere or emotion within my images. Which to me means they become more three dimensional. less of a flat image and more of a glimpse into a world a life, a piece of Art. I know I am a Artist whom expresses myself through the medium of photography and photoshop.

I find indoor shooting boring, because theres not as much to work with space wise. This is challenging, so thought I would challenge myself. Thats what being a artist is about. I am not one of these photographers either that take a hundred photos and use three or four images from that shoot. I choose one, the one i deem best. This demonstrates discipline and allows me to identify the best image, which is more professional than a series of ‘the same’ type of images. People need to learn this in photography. Anyway indoor lighting i hated as it looked so fake and set up and fixed. So i have been learning to use it more creatively less studio like. And it has become quite fun.

I also visited a abandoned shopping centre which i will be revisiting to actually  create more images in and work with, or rather practice my lighting. This place was beautiful and haunting at the same time. Unfortunately this was not in the most desirable neighbourhood and my car window was smashed. This was heartbreaking as it demonstrates the mind of society and the lack of humanity. I think the worst part was they didn’t steal anything, they simply just smashed the window. It annoyed me as this would clearly inconvenience me in my life and require me to spend money to fix a problem that could be better used. It is my daughters birthday in two weeks, my nieces in less than five days, and christmas in a week. However, for me to have to use my coat sleeve to wipe broken and shattered glass from my daughters seat for her to sit was the worst moment in my life as far as being a mother goes. As a parent you would lay your life down in less than a heartbeat, defend and protect to the death your child. This incident however i could protect my daughter physically from harm, of the glass as i laid my coat down for her to sit upon. I could not protect her from the reality of humanity, or lack of it. The way in which humans think it is right or just to do this to someones property. To make someone so distressed, to do something and have such little conscious or understanding or even remorse for their actions. This was no accident this was malicious. And it upset me because of this. I did post a picture on my Facebook. And although my faith in humanity was broken, Facebook has ensured that it was restored. I had such a outpouring of support and of kind words and beautiful gestures of help, i actually cried. I didn’t cry over the car, but I did over the goodness in humans.


I showed my daughter the messages and kind gestures from Facebook, because more importantly than me being comforted she needed to be. To know that for the fucker that done that to my window, there was many more good people in the world. This she needed to see as this is what she should expect from people and nothing less. Thats for every one person who makes you feel shitty, there are a million more that want to help you and make you feel better.


When a few close friends found out about this they pulled through so much for me and have really helped. My partner also has offered to pay for all the damage. And has been so supportive letting me use his car, offering to take my car up to his friend to fix and i can keep his until mine is done. Thankfully however a mechanic i know has gone out of his way to source the glass. As its a convertible it is hard to get hold of and the fact it is a VW beetle. Who has also offered to lend me a car and have mine fixed by Sunday the latest. All for a ridiculously low price. Which he won’t received as i will be sure to tip him a lot for his generosity and humanity. So despite  my bad week, which also seen me full up with a cold and have little bit of a black eye as the shopping centre was so dark i walled into a steel rack…….It hurt so bad. But i got some cool pictures, and I also will be going back and instead of leaving my car there a friend said they will look after my car in the car park while i go into shoot. See this is humanity this is compassion this is consideration this is what the world should be like, then war  and malicious behaviour would be a word, not a consequence. And who knows it may even be taken out of the dictionary as no one would feel the need to use the word to describe such a situation or people.


I suppose a world like that would be lovely, but …………….. impossible as the seven deadly sins actually are a part of being human. Though so is being conscious enough not make good and bad decisions is also why humans are supposedly more superior than our primates.  Well some of us are.