Love of love ….

Many people shall come and go through your life. They shall cross your path, they shall teach you, inspire you, or hurt you. But what will you do to them? For them? In these last four years I have been taught a lot by someone who crossed my path and I let into my life. I have been taught a lot about who I am, who they are, what I can become and who they can become. 

I have recently found a calling in my life. When I thought there could be no possible way for me to have just one earthly purpose. I have psychic friends and a old dear minister whom is a renown psychic and spiritual healer. And how I paths crossed I could tell you but I doubt you would believe me. Or even think I am not crazy. It is peculiar the way if you have a religion, no one thinks you are crazy. But yet no one can see ‘this’ god. Just like believing in love, no one can see it, or the wind. We can only feel it. Faith is something I have always had but in what I have never known completely. I know enough about quatium theory to disprove god. I know enough to understand energy and matter and the universe. So for me to believe in fate and the power of the universe I guess is/was my faith. 

If someone should say that they can feel their god, then why should I not feel my energies of the universe? If someone says they receive messages from their god them why should I not be able to say I receive messages from spiritual guides. I have had a gift from a young age. I didn’t realise this till seven years ago. And I have indulged in it and I have restricted it. I have helped people with it and given messages so accurate that no one other than the spirit and the reciever should know. Through this I have conflicted with myself and my emotions. 

I have bipolar disorder which is a recognised cycling mood disorder. Extreme highs, intensive lows. Outbursts of anger and frustration and what some medical people consider as paranoia. Now, when you are spiritually susceptible to spirits as a messenger you are given messages and feelings and visual representations. In order to provide a accurate message to the person whom is to receive it. If I looked at my bipolar through a more spiritually charged viewpoint I may find a few coincidences and a few flaws. 

For example, I have intense feelings when meeting someone. I feel their energy and I feel their spiritual guides feelings and concerns. This is why a lot of the time I do not like to meet new people or go out. I get bombarded with intense emotions and feelings. In the medical world these are considered triggers. Mood cycles. 

Through being around new people I become exhausted because of the emotional and mental spiritual link I will have with them and their guides etc – this caused my mood to become low. Sometimes very low. When I am free from people and the spiritual connections I feel electrically charged and  happy beyond comparison. This would be seen as a bipolar high the manic episode. 
The paranoid Element that comes with bipolar is also a explainable thing to do with my gift. As I can predict events and I have a gut feeling. I can see choices being made and consequences to come for me and those around me. Therefore I develop anxiety as I do not want to control people, and neither do I want them hurt, or myself. This can cause me to have frustrated outbursts and then I get angry so angry that they we warned or told and they still went ahead and the consequences affect not just them but me and my life and my daughter and my equilibrium. 

I suppose now I can be honest, as I don’t want to hide who or what I am. I don’t care if people think I am bipolar or that I am nuts or that I am crazy. I know what I can do and I have proved this numerous times both to myself and others. The only thing I have a problem with is healing. As once I am hurt emotionally or spiritually I need to be healed. And I have been given the opportunity to do this now. I have spoken to a dear friend and I have attended a few meetings. 

I done something I would never ever of thought myself do. I stood in a crowded room and I had delivered messages from the spiritual realm. These three people in which spirit had wanted to make contact were overwhelmed with the accuracy of my messages and descriptions. I was shaking so badly and I was so exhausted and dizzy afterwards I nearly fainted. But the most rewarding thing I have ever done is just be me. Who I am, and deliever that to complete strangers and to be thanked for being me. 

I needed a lot of healing after that. As I have not yet learnt to release the energies of the emotions I have been passed. The minister whom took me along, was beyond proud and amazed with me. And I haven’t had anyone tell me how proud they were of me in such a long time I cried so mercilessly. I met some extraordinary people and was pulled aside by one whom asked me a few questions. And asked if I would like to be part of a realm reading. I had no idea of what this entailed but I agreed. 

The realm reading was mind blowing in me understanding my past life’s and attributes in this life. I suppose in a way it was something that everyone should undergo to help them understand and differentiate between themselves and their souls. And this has massively helped me to do so.

Through this encounter I have found a lot of peace and love for myself. I have also realised a lot about the people whom I surrounded myself with. My influence on them and upon their lives. Someone exited my life recently and unfortunately I do not see them ever coming back until they have been enlightened to their soul and the earth form as they are such a conflicting person. And are a chaotic human, very unorganised, very last minute and very ignorant and their displacement affects their energy and their mind. Which then conflicts with their soul. They think they don’t belong anywhere because of the way they are neither at peace with their earth self or spiritual self. They work so much as they have no other form of purpose as they don’t ground themselves with their soul and earth presences. I spent so long talking about this person to these people. Thinking I failed in my helping him. And it’s hurt me to think I have. But it was good to know that he will realise when/if he becomes awake that he will see I did not fail him. I did actually do a lot of the opposite. I know he would snigger at this. But that’s ok. The unwake people the people who have not been enlightened or made peace with both their soul and human form yet are oblivious to those around them whom are more pure. 

Until some people allow their human form bleed into their soul and let the soul bleed love into human heart the conflict will always hurt the person and make them feel more lost than they ever will feel happiness. I pray this is not the case for him, but he is one born under the star of stubbornness and ignorance. His journey will be long. And I wish him the best as no one deserves a life of international and spiritual conflict as that leads to a lonely unfulfilled life. 

I have so much to learn on this new journey and I will be leaving in a week to travel to another meeting with some very respectable people. One lady in particular I am excited to meet as she travels the world doing. And all I want to ask is something simple “will it help” I hope it gets met with a yes and a smile. 

So if I told you I knew who you were before I even got to know you and I still choose to love you, then maybe it was my fault for knowing I could only go as far as the other person was willing to go. A man could have everything, every other man on the planet desires, and if he is not a peace with himself his conflict of his soul and human form will have him blind. A enlightened man is one I seek who I can truly be myself with and be truly loved by, for me. For the joy I bring him, the protection I try and enforce around him and the devotion of love and care he will receive in memories he will never want to erase. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they truly are, and be respected for their differences. Because that is how you are human. But being a human with a soul takes courage and to be led by faith not fear and self conflict. 



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