Finding me….

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I’m falling off the radar. I find technology such a powerful tool, to communicate and spread such messages across the world. I have never been such a fan of social media I find it intrusive, and fake. I love the blogs I write but Facebook and Twitter I find pitiful and boastful. …people feeding their own egos with the perfect selfie basing popularity on likes.

So I have decided I have a few phone numbers and they have my house number.  To get in touch with me, I have also created a nobody Facebook in order to manage my photography page on fb. But I am deleting my Facebook account. And as of tonight I shall be switching my phone off and not touching it for at least a week. Or until I come back from Oxford. Because I am fed up of anticipating to take my phone incase someone phones or texts or I miss a call from a client or a friend. It’s a tie ….. and I want this summer to be one I remember for the way the breeze felt….the sunset skies danced and the way in which the only thing I try to update is my perspective of how beautiful and freeing a world without a mobile phone stuck to your arm is. So this summer I am free. I have lots of shoots planned. I have booked holidays away ….With my darling friend charlotte and we agree phones are banned. I coukdnt be happier ……. I have my Polaroid camera to capture memories and places …..which I adore the hues of the instant camera is something my eyes have a orgasm over…..so as of tonight I’m phone free…..

Emancipated as it were…

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Heaven doesn’t answer the phone…….

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Nostalgia is so powerful, sometimes it can become almost crippling. The longing for the lost, the time past, the people, the smells, sounds, feelings, warmth or cold. A simple smell can propel me into such nostalgia of what i emotionally attached that smell too, someone i loved, someone i admired, or someone who inspired, and the fact they are no longer here. I am so happy when summer comes, as it symbolises to me a freedom i adore, to travel, to live free, from university and times of school. But with each summer that comes i loose something also, another year. Maybe another person or two, for different reasons. This summer i have had to stop and take account of how much my life has changed in the last five years. And how it has changed me. And how in the next five years i may loose more than i gain, or gain more than i have lost. Either way when I am sat alone, in a cemetery reading a book or a park or coffee shop and i see people interacting. The old the young, the lovers and strangers. I sit there and wish I could just pick up the phone and speak to my nan. Tell her about everything thats going on, that I am doing, that I want to do. And to hear her accent as she says she loves me before she hangs up the phone. I would so  sacrifice so much to hear that again, just one more time. Just one. To trace the sound of her breathing with the sounds she pronounces her syllables. Therefore this was my image to give to my nan, who never got to see my work, my talent, who never got to share this part of my life with me, but i know she would be so immensely proud of me. I hope she would be. I wish i could just phone her ……….. but heaven doesn’t answer the phone.

Series ……..concept and Time.

Time, its a funny thing, some of us are tied to it, others not. Some of us make time our priority others just tend to go along without no rush or care…. I am a bit of both. But since the dawn of time man has always been somewhat living by time. Before a watch/clock it was always told by the position of the sun. How beautiful, to look to the sun, to mother nature and see what time she decides it to be. Opposed to the mechanism of a ticking man made bit of steel.

Therefore i have decided to do a series on TIME

I have decided to do a candid series, as when people are relaxed their aura, their appearance and their projection of themselves change, sometimes so dramatically. There was a scientific study that when people are given a mirror in which to look at themselves and their brainwaves and muscles were monitored. And the results show that as soon as they were given a mirror their expression and stance changed, even for themselves when no one else was in a room they altered the way they look their appearance, emotional state to see a pleasing reflecting. I find this bizarre as i do not give a rats arse what i look like most of the time.

So with tis tied in i have decided to do CONCEPTUAL MIRROR SERIES and a CANDID series. Which i am also thinking of doing a follow up series of actually UNCANDID with the same people, just to show the difference.

Obviously with any type of series you have to do a BLACK AND WHITE series so that is a given.

WIth regards to my last blog post regarding personal art, and art in general i havent quite nailed what i want to achieve from this series, yet. SO although this is a given series the outcomes and exact photos i have in mind are still a bit fuzzy. Though with putting alot of thought into the ART series and talking about Cezanne yesterday i have decided that i am going to do a ‘take’ on the pieces of art that have heavily influenced me. In the way i fall in love with art, admire the technical precision and complimentary colours, the conscious proportions, the light that has been man made and created but looks as if mother nature has lent a hand. SO i will RE-CREATE the images i have been inspired by, but obviously give it my own twist, which will obviously end up as a dark art piece.

so ART INSPIRED RE-CREATION is another series.

I havent decided how many series i want to do yet but i know they have to be things to take me out of my unusal style.

I have BOKEH

INVISIBLE

INSECT – not as real animals and insects, this one will have a great conceptual twist.

I was also contemplating submitting a image to dark beauty competition based on ‘secrets’ unfortunately i know the artist’s work who will be judging and its very conceptual fashion based and that is clearly not my style at all. ITs not at if I am not going to enter as i will not win, its the fact i dont like that genre an i know that will be favoured over other genres. So for now i think i will leave it be mulled in my mind.

IF there are any spelling mistakes in this I apologise, i find after writing it, on a white background with black text and the lighting of the computer my eyes literally give up and everyword starts to swirl and basically perform a salsa dance. WHich means I literally cant de-code anything i have written, but i notice all of these mistakes when i publish this work and it appears on a black background. Then only then can i read what i have wrote, thats Irlen syndrome for ya.

New eyes old soul

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So, today is a day whereby i finalise a few images for a competition i have entered. And I am proud of these images as they capture that ‘something’ that every photographer wants to be able to capture. I think its the soul, or the personality of the person. They way they express themselves through their eyes, by accident or to command the audiences presence. And any good photographer when they look at the in-camera previews straight away do a little geek dance. Knowing that have ‘THAT’ shot. I am lucky in alot of ways with my photography, as i have mastered editing, I have the artistic eyes nailed, and the technical aspect well sometimes that goes to hell, and what then gets produced it complete art. Every rule ever wrote was meant to be challenged in order for the evolution of new rules, new terms, new ideas, function, knowledge and a higher standard of personal and professional deliverance. I am not a massive fan of the bokeh light types of photography, but i have chosen to do a series on this. Why? I ask myself that every time i contemplate doing it. Because with the most beautiful painters ….. of still life. ( the endless fruit bowls) Yes those fruit bowls that have been painted sketched and impressed upon constantly from before the renaissance to present day. The object of those still life pictures were to take every day objects and the concept that people had delivered before them and to make it more interesting and ‘their own’ for someone to one day paint or photograph the most amazingly ‘new’ concept of this fruit bowl. That was like nothing no one had ever seen before. I actually think even to this day some are still trying. (poor bastards needs to give it up) But its what is important to you as a creative individual. To challenge yourself, so you grow and evolve and like Cezanne use a innovative new impressionism of what you see. So when i have completely decided on my series and their categories i will list them and state why i have chosen these categories.

A little glimpse into my world; into me. I am having a watercolour tattoo ( something i have wanted for so long) on the back of my arm, and the watercolour image is not going to display anything in particular its going to just be colours that are merging and melting into one another and dripping down the back of my arm. This is massively because I can watercolour and its always been therapeutic for me. The other reason is I want it, and why should i be afraid of having it done or peoples reactions to it…im talking professionally at the moment. The career i am heading for is not exactly thrilled for tattoos to be on show. But considering I will be promoting what i will have my body covered in, then i suppose i have a good argument. Also as im booked in for a whole day sitting in a tattooist I’am finishing the  foot tattoo theme up So they are officially done. Feet tattoos are the worst most painful tattoos in the universe. Oh yes and ribs too. they do sting a fucking lot. But what i am most excited for is mine and my partners new matching tattoos, we are having each others finger prints on our hands where our thumbs sit when we hold hands. Also because of all we have been through we are paying homeage to that, by having horse shoe tattoos to mark how much we have come along. This was his idea as hes totally in love with the film True romance, and that was their wedding ring. So him being the romantic he is wants them, as i refuse to wear a horse shoe ring he bought me. Because I do not want to cover the tattoo i have on my wedding finger. So i wear the ring around my neck one a chain. Tattoos are so meaningful to me, and my partner and he is covered in them, from his exes face on his leg, in some dotwork, to a death moth and some lyrics in homage of another ex. And a red string of fate from our first weekend together, and because i speak spanish and i introduced him to a beautiful and my favourite film ever or one of, vanilla sky. He has has the side of his face tattooed with the spanish ‘ open your eyes’ which is a beautiful theme throughout the film.  And luckily for me i have a true talent when it comes to poetry so he has dedicated some space on his body ( theres barely any room left) to haveing his favourite lines and extracts from my poetry. Which i thought was so beautiful and sweet.  I think i will do a series on personal art. Yes i will. Art and its subjective meaning to the person.

anyway I have lots to do now, and i have spent too much time on here ……….. so bye. x

V ………for Vendetta…

V..... for Vendetta

So the photography world, full of inspiring one of a kind images, and bad replica’s. The world of photography has its humble photographers and its fame hungry egotistical ones. Such is life. When a following of a specific ‘photographer’ is over shadowed by other ‘pursuits’ in which they have gained recognition. And still endorse these within their photography to enhance their reputation over their skills it is some what disappointing to those of us whom have started from scratch and have gained a genuine following through nothing else but our work and vision within the artistry of the photography sphere. Therefore no matter what way in which someone gains recognition their platform was always that of other means. It is normally these photographers that slate, and criticise and judge other peoples work the most. Which is something i find amazing considering they have a disillusioned version of their ‘starting point’ and their ‘work’ alongside their absolutely meaningless conceited opinions.

On the other hand it also provides other photographers with the opportunity to put their work out their to show them how it is done ‘properly’.

on a unrelated note of my observations of tragic behaviour and opinions, today is the 21st of June which means by tomorrow Wales will be a more beautiful place. This is something that has made me smile like crazy for the last couple of days. A celebration has been put in place to mark this event. And my summer will be perfect ……… lots of shoots, a few weekends away and obviously a lovely holiday with my favourite people in the world. Also i have received four requests and deposits for my new business which has proved to be more sort after than i anticipated. But it is doing something i adore  therefore my life is complete.

When I go…..

I have bought a new camera the next model up from mine, which is a very amazing model anyway. However I am being swayed from Nikon ever so slightly. I believe you are either team Nikon or Canon. I never liked Canon, but i think that was heavily influenced by my ex partner who was a avid Nikon user, owning the D800e he liked to have the best of the best. Dont we all. However i have since found that now he uses a Canon after swapping to Sony in-between. I often wonder if the influence peoples opinions and views we absorb create a bit of our personality and contribute towards our path in life and choices we make.