whispering void…..silent noise

what can change in a second? ………….Everything.

Life, being and living. What you include, what you loose, what you abuse and those things you dont choose. Thats life, the innocent moments of thoughts and naïvety ( my favourite). The carefree laughs and awe in which you stare ( my most favourite). Then the touch that somehow reaches your soul ( i have too many favourites). All these beautiful things that make life worth living, and the soul alive. When you wake up with that person you love asleep next to you. When you coil your limbs in that person, wanting to loose yourself in their sleep, while listening to their rhythm of breathing. The innocence on their face, and their scent on your pillow. I think there is nothing more beautiful than to lay asleep at your most vulnerable with someone, knowing you will sleep safe, they wont hurt you. It seems a somewhat given? Then why does this change when eyes open and brains engage, neither are less vulnerable? But this is when the pain hurts the most, this is when you get hurt the most, when hearts quicken with what the eyes see and the soul is now aware.

What type of person are you? are you the type of person that sees the innocences in your lover when she/he is asleep and couldn’t dream of taking a knife and thrusting it into their heart? Like you would if you cheated/lied to them when they are awake. Or less say something a little less extreme, would you wake your lover from a sleep, a dream, to tell them the lies you have hid, the cheating you have done. Its just not done is it? then why do people do it when someone is awake. Do they deserve it more then? or is it as soon as they leave your bed, they leave their loyalty, dignity and love for you in their dreams, or in their sleep.

I suppose this is a cynical way of looking at something but never the less, its a truth.

We live in such a throw away society, that pains my heart, marriage is as disposable as razors. Divorce is chosen quicker than the next days outfit. Women seem to have lose morals and little self respect, and men seem to indulge at every opportunity in the variety of this. Technology could be blamed, but the user controls the technology and not the other way around. Though it is true, it is easier to find these types of girls with instant access to sleazy dating sites.

Men hate to be called sleazy and are so quick to condem other men for being a sleaze, yet their very actions, thoughts, lies and behaviour is that of what they hate.  Yet they so easily allow themselves to become this. But this is a arrogant man, who is arrogant in everything, advice, life, love and hard work. As to be a respectable man is a choice that requires discipline, same with women. And discipline takes confidence, self awareness and hard work. But the one thing it takes more of than anything else is integrity. To know that the person that loves them is worth more than the four they are already contemplating as shinny new options. The age old saying of ‘is the grass greener on the other side.’ The answer easy. Name one man who has traded his wife for his mistress, to find his mistress leave’s him. Karma? or even better the relationship fizzles out? and he realised how empty his life is without his wife, and the story always has the twist.

The twist? Im glad you asked.

I wonder how many marriages are still together because the man or the woman who cheated was taken back by their partner?

And i wonder how many marriages are broken because they cannot forgive that person, trust that person?

And then i wonder how many mens mistress’ lasted longer than the divorce proceedings.

The Twist? that you cant predict how it will end. But the thing you will know is that nothing will ever be the same again, in your world or theirs when you decide to betray the ‘love’ that was given purely.

Hurt people, hurt people. They cannot help it i suppose, there are excuses that can be made, but then it gets to a point when every excuse has been exhausted. Every tear has been shed and every sob has been sobbed. The confidence is smashed like a mirror and trust is as apparent as sunlight dust.

To me effort is everything in a relationship, it doesn’t matter how damaged you are, respect and effort is of importance for recovery. Make the effort to make them secure. Give respect in the form of honesty. Effort is a key factor if you cant be bothered to make a effort anymore, to make them smile, to say hi, or even to let them know that there is a part of their heart that belongs to you. Then there is no incentive for the other person to make the effort as they dont feel loved. Would you? another void to suck out the happiness….

Sex is such a big part of a relationship and initmacy and strengthens the bond of love. Sadly however when the effort is not made in this area either another void is consuming your relationship. If you are a selfish lover, you are a selfish person. As you do not meet or understand the needs and wants of your relationship or partner.

The whispering void of blame and noise, ‘I dont do this because you dont do this, or you act like this.’ I would do that if you didnt do this’ so many people argue over the littlest things, to keep finding fault with someone is to sabotage yourself, no one is perfect. But if you find that one person, who has stood by you through the good and the bad. laughed along with you and supported the most idiotic decisions you have made as well as pushing you to some of the best you have made. Stop nagging, stop bitching, and just be thankful you have someone who loves you enough to be there no matter what. But if you are that person and you get nothing in return, no appreciation, or respect, or effort. My advice is walk, as these people will never know what they had infront of them as they were to busy looking to the side, and out for themselves. And no matter what you do it will never be enough, as these people are too damages to understand the purity of love, and what it is, its just a word they think they understand.

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To be human, in these times of crisis both environmental and governmental we forget what we are. Human. I wonder how many people carry with them guilt, the guilt of not being able to do all the things expected of them, with families, partners, work commitments, friends and social commitments, and that of  school or educational commitments, then the laundary or housework alongside the expectations to still be perfectly groomed and appealing. Or if not perfectly groomed at least fit. This is about the worst type of world to be in, whereby guilt becomes our shadow.

The ability to do something we find pleasure in, and find time for, for ourselves, is seen as not important. But this is essentially what makes us human, the ability to enjoy the world and indulge in our desires our passions, our hobbies. If you ask ten people what their hobbies are, at least six or seven of them will have to think on this question. WHy? because they havent got time have a hobby a passion or pleasure. The rest will probably name a hobby, but when the next question comes along,” how often do you get to practice your hobby or indulge in it’ They will probably have to think of the last time they did. Which saddens me so much. Everyone deserves to be human, to do something that is not a means to a end but a source of pleasure and satisfaction.

When was the last time you sat at a coffee shop and people watched, watch the world pass you by and just relax. Not be bound to a appointment so you kill tie at a coffee shop, or wait for a friend, to socialise with. But just sit and indulge in time and peace.

Or when was the last time you sat on the beach, not to occupy the children as a day trip out to meet the requirements of a ‘day out’ but just sat there, watched the tied rolling in and out, notice how no two waves ever caress the sea the same as they meet the shore. See the clouds prancing across the sky, and their changing shape. Into animals or faces or flowers? When was the last time you watched a sunset or a sunrise properly sat there to watch one, the colours of pink and purple merging melting into a liquid gold or amber stream? When did you last sit in the woods, watch the shadows and lights change on the floor or hear the bird singing.

Whether it be reading, ( my favourite) or sunsets (another favourite) riding your horse (another guilty pleasure of mine) no matter what it is that brings you such immense tranquility and pleasure and peace. When was the last time you done it? and didnt feel guilty for doing it? essentially when was the last time you connected with your soul and fed it peace and pleasure.. and enjoyed being human. They say mental health disorders are primarily due to environment, I agree, If i havent done something i enjoy for a week i find my mood dip dramatically.

Schools teach children so much, but they do not teach them the things they require as humans not as governmental commodities. Did you know that your birth certificate registers you as the governments commodity? schools dont teach you your human rights, why? because its normally government run schools. They do not teach you about the government or the voting systems or politics, why? because knowledge is power and knowledge is what makes people question. Children are not taught of their common law rights, either. Why? because alot of legal laws will be flawed by the common law and the government wants to repress and control. The schools dont teach you how to be human, or enjoy being human or what it consists of, it literally just conditions you to become a drone and something that makes it money.

A sad truth, So please everyone indulge in what makes you human, enrich your life’s, your mental and emotional and spiritual state as right now alot the only thing that really defines us as not robotic workhorses is a name.